Levi Johston (of knocking up Bristol Palin fame) poses in camouflage a with shotgun on his shoulder for this month's GQ magazine. This is the same issue where he asserts that Todd Palin offered Bristol a car if she dumped him while they were dating. Clearly she passed on that showcase and got the consolation prize - a baby to take care of while the father runs around doing stupid shit like this.
So why does this make me Go Smiley? Because without a doubt, I would have dated this guy in high school. Heck - I dated guys who looked almost exactly like him. In fact, to this day, I still have a picture of one of them holding up the dead dear he'd killed by the antlers. This makes me smile because but, by the grace of God and my parents telling me I'd go to hell if I had sex before I got married, Bristol Palin could have been me. You know... minus the jackass mother. Small town, knocked up at 16 by the local hockey (or in my case, football) player and never leaving her trailer for the rest of her life.
The lesson here? Forget the promise ring crap. Tell your kids they'll go to Hell if they have sex before they get married. To this day, my mother denies that this is what she said, but it kept me out of trouble. Now if I can just get my mom to run for VP next time around.
Hey Go Smiley, it's The Mung Hour. We'd like to welcome you to the family. We'd also like to comment on campaign sperm donor, Levi Johnston. The look on his face in that photo reflects the following:
ReplyDelete"I'm glad I bought Durex for tonight's date with that smokin' reporter from KTUU News. No more baby-daddying in '09 for this bad-ass."